What Measures Grows!
Hi Hope Family,
As part of the Church staff I had the privilege of attending a Leadership summit last month. All the speakers were wonderful so, I thought I'd share one of my take aways with you.
One of the speakers challenged us to look at what we are measuring as leaders. The idea is that "What you measure grows!"
What you as the leader measures is what your team works the hardest on because they know that's what you are going to look at first. I think that same idea works at home. I think, our children and our spouses know what we are going to measure to see if they are doing what we've asked.
My kids know when they do their chores, I'm going to see if the bathroom is in good order. First that's how I measure if they did their chores. So this past weekend I checked the bathroom and it was great, so off they went to play. Funny on Monday when I sat down in the living room I noticed the dusting had been missed. (They knew I always check the bathroom but maybe not the living room).
This is just a funny story to tell you. If you want the ones you love to draw near to God and grow deeper in their faith then that should be what you measure, check on and ask questions about. I want my children to do their chores so I measure how they are doing. The truth is I care more about their relationship with God and I don't measure and check on that every week like I do the chores. So I think I'm sending the wrong message to my kids. I 'm still going to make them do their chores (sorry guys) but I'm going to figure out ways to make sure all the people that consider me a leader in their life, knows that what I'm the most interested in how they are growing in Christ. If "What's measured grows!" then that's what I'm measuring!
Proverbs 20:11 “Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right.” (NIV)
Parents: I've added a great parenting tip too, from our friends @ Biblicalparenting.org
Children Know What to Expect by What You Inspect
Many parents believe that giving an instruction is a one step process – just tell kids what to do. Maybe that misconception is why so many parents get frustrated because their children don't do what they say. A good instruction process involved many steps including getting close to the child, getting a response back, and checking up when done.
It's been said, "Children know what you expect by what you inspect." After children do the job and report back, then parents can inspect what they've accomplished and everyone experiences a sense of completion. Reporting back and inspecting work provide opportunities for you to praise your child for obeying, teach about responsibility, and foster a positive relationship.
Inspecting and releasing add finality to the assignment. Many kids do a job part way or not at all and drift into something else. They live with an unsettled sense of anxiety because there's no closure to the instruction process. By getting the work checked, a child then experiences a sense of freedom. You give your children a gift by releasing them to go play or enjoy the rest of the evening. They're done.
One teen, Amanda, said it this way, "I always feel like my mom or dad are looking for me to do something else. I'm afraid to come out of my bedroom because they're going to give me another job."
When we talked with Amanda's parents, they said, "She never finishes things. She leaves the bathroom a mess, her room isn't clean, she doesn't do her homework, and she often doesn't practice her flute."
The relationships in this family improved when Amanda and her parents listed the expectations of Amanda and checked them off each day. Dad and Mom felt like things were getting done and Amanda felt a sense of freedom.
For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children, read the book, Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.